FRANK AND REGINA'S JOURNEY INTO PARENTHOOD THROUGH ADOPTION
This site chronicles our experience of adopting a child from Aqtobe, Kazakhstan. We never thought we would want children, but we've learned to never say never! To start at the beginning click on "May 2007" in the blog archive and scroll to the bottom. Our two trips occurred in May and July 2008. We live in Charleston, SC, and can be contacted at regina(at)ruopoli.com. Enjoy!
I have taken on an incredible challenge. In November I'll be walking 60 miles over the course of 3 days, camping out each night with thousands of others taking this journey with me.
It's for an event called the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk, which benefits Susan G. Komen for the Cure.
I've never done a walk like this before, so I am nervous about it! Past participants say that it’s not easy, and I need to train seriously for it. I am inspired to get back into shape for this worthy cause, as well as for my son.
I am so excited to be doing this fundraising walk with a wonderful group of 11 fellow Kazakhstan adoptive moms from all over the country! We became close through our shared experiences in adoption. We will be convening in Arizona for the Phoenix walk to support each other as we raise money for this great cause. We traveled 6,496 miles to bring our children home, so walking 60 miles for a cure is no problem! We are keeping a group blog of our quest at http://www.kazmamas.blogspot.com/ I wrote a post there recently about my friends, Angela and Jennifer, who are valiant survivors of this disease. I am humbly walking in their honor.
I hope that you'll share this adventure with me by supporting me in my fundraising efforts. My goal is to raise at least $2,300. Simply visit my personal fundraising webpageto make a donation. ANY amount is appreciated (seriously). Online donations are quick, easy and secure.
Thank you to those who have already donated. I offer my sincerest appreciation for everyone's consideration and support!
Charleston was in full bloom for a beautiful Easter season. We enjoyed coloring eggs, attending 2 egg hunts and exciting visits from 2 other Kazakhstan adoptive families we know through blogland. More on that below. Milo had lots of fun, despite being under the weather and occasionally becoming Mr. McMoodypants. Thankfully he is back to his old self and actually seems even sweeter than before.
I took a million photos during the past week. On with the show!
Oh how I love this boy.
Stylin' and profilin'
Headed to the Easter egg hunt/picnic organized by the local adoption agency that did our homestudy. (A Chosen Child)
Asking daddy for a hand up. Soon he will be asking for a twenty.
Like something right out of The Little Rascals
He wears pink well. (So does his daddy.)
I can't decide whether to cut his hair or let it grow out into a shaggy surfer look for the summer. In the background you can see a part of the huge playset that daddy and friends worked hard on putting together this weekend. It's almost done...photos coming soon!
Enjoying the fragrance of his first hyacinth, mommy's favorite spring flower.
Pulling his beloved Radio Flyer
Simply scrumptious!
He loves to jump off of any elevated surface he can find, no matter how slight the elevation.
He loves his dinosaur tent.
But he would never try to destroy it.
Or would he???
Our first visit from a fellow adoptive family was from Kristi & Mieke (Mee-cah), who have been home from Kaz about a year. Kristi is such a neat person who works as an expatriat for the US government. She will soon move to Uzbekistan for a 2-year tour working for the State Department. She will be in familiar terrority since this country is just south of Kazakhstan. Kristi and Mieke stopped by on their way to Florida to visit family. We spent a few minutes at home and then were off to enjoy a great morning at the Middleton Place Plantation Easter Egg Hunt. It was a positively picturesque day, and the kids were so stinkin' cute together.
Milo and Mieke making beautiful music.
Heart and Soul
Little Monkeys
A great day for a picnic
Carrots for the Easter Bunny
What a gentleman
I didn't get a good photo of Kristi, so here is one I copied from her blog. Aren't they darling?
The second family to visit us was the Ruley family, who stopped by for lunch on their way home to Florida from a wedding. Andrey and Alyona (Alone-Ah) were adopted about a year ago and are siblings. They are absolutely adorable and loads of fun! Matthew and Suzanne are such nice, interesting and multi-talented people. They are musicians and vocalists too, so we have lots in common.
The Lovely Ruley Family
Alyona, Milo and Andrey became fast friends.
Alyona was such a nurturing sweetie.
Milo "helping" Alyona on roller skates.
I'm not sure how much help he was!
Cute Andrey loved playing with Milo's toys. They share a passion for cars, trains and such. (The stackable toy bins are from the Land of Nod, and are one of our favorite purchases.)
I love this photo of Matthew and Suzanne.
The two diva mamas
Frank and Suzanne chatting after lunch
We always love meeting fellow Kaz families in person. There is a special bond that is shared by this close-knit group of people. We have followed each other's journeys and continued to stayed in touch through the months/years since our adoptions were complete. I am ever grateful for the love and support we have received from them. Their encouragement, advice and compassion are priceless to me, and I feel as close to many of them as I do with my longtime friends.
It's remarkable to watch these beautiful children grow up and see how well they do once they have loving families to call their own. We look forward to seeing many more of them in person at Kazapalooza this year!
I am woefully behind on the blog, but it's not because we don't have lots to share. Every day is an adventure. Every hour is something new. It's impossible to sum it all up, but below are a few photos from the last few months, along with commentary. I also added 3 videos of Milo in action.
I have to admit, I'm much better at keeping up via the very convenient Facebook. If your not a member, please join and "friend" me and/or Frank!
Milo is doing fantastically well. We've been home 7 months now. In May it will be 1 year since we met him! We had our 6 month post-placement report and his 6 month adoption doctor follow-up. He is still on the small side for his age, but everything looks great and he's catching up developmentally and emotionally. We will finish out his Early Intervention Therapy until he turns 3 in August, but we won't move on to the next age level because his therapists (EI/OT/Speech) are certain he won't qualify anymore because he is doing so well!
Language is coming along nicely and he knows hundreds of words, but is just starting to put them together. He speaks pretty clearly, but some of his cuter word approximations include:
Kickle = Bicycle Tiss = Kiss Dum = Come Robop = Robot Dinket = Blanket Tee-knee = TV Choose = Shoes Adin = Again Airtane = Airplane Oooosic = Music Oooburries or Boondies = Strawberries
He still eats like a prizefighter and sleeps like a drunk. Lucky us! We're waiting until he starts climbing out of the crib before we transition him into a toddler bed. It will be any day now and I'm truly shocked our little monkey boy hasn't done it yet.
He is getting tall and has a long, willowy body type despite his hearty appetite. He is still a fearless daredevil who loves to climb, jump, run and dive. His more intense sensory-seeking behaviors are getting better and better, and we are learning new ways to safely give him the sensory input he needs. At home he is pretty calm these days, but when we are in a new environment it can be tough to control his "exhuberance."
Our Kindermusik class has not been easy, but I've stuck it out because he shows improvement each week. He's "that kid" who won't conform to the group activities and wants to just run around much of the time. But he loves being the teacher's helper and is really good with assisting and encouraging the younger children. It's very sweet! He's doing well in pre-school one day a week, although it's still a tearfest when I drop him off. It's hard on both of us, but his teachers say he is just fine the rest of the day and is very well behaved.
Milo had some big issues for several weeks with spitting when he was upset (very frustrating) as well as intensified biting and hitting, etc. But after tweaking our disciplinary techniques we have seen huge improvements. On this note, for adoptive parents I highly recommend the educational video series "Because They Waited," by Heart of the Matter Seminars. This video does a great job of summing up all the information out there on adoption parenting in an easy-to-digest format. It's geared toward kids who have been mildly-to-moderately affected by institutionalization, which is so much more applicable than the "gloom and doom" training we had through adopteducation.com. Watching it recently made a big difference for us when we needed it most.
Potty training is still in the works. When we got serious about it Milo decided he wasn't having any part of it, so we backed off. We eased into it again slowly, and this week he has made leaps and bounds, asking us to go often and even in public. I think we're ready to try some underwear-only days around the house. Wish us luck!
Milo's favorite things in the world right now are still Thomas the Tank Engine and tractors, trucks, airplanes and ALL things cars, including the movie Cars. Many nights he wants to go to sleep with his Thomas train or a toy car in his hand. He also loves to "drive" our car. I wish I had captured the look on his face when I let him actually drive the car down the driveway sitting in my lap. Ecstasy! He is finally able to color with crayons and play with Play-Doh without trying to eat everything, so that has been a great milestone. He is utterly fascinated by basic mechanics and engineering. He can never just play with a toy -- he has to figure out how it works and/or take it apart too.
Milo's vibrant personality continues to blossom like a spring garden. When he turns on the charm there's nothing like it. He's so cute and quite funny for a 2.5 year old. His giggle is infectious, and when he gets excited about something I love to see the light in his eyes and hear the lilt in his voice. He is as determined and stubborn as ever too. I hope that his will-of-steel serves him well in life, even though it makes some of our days together trying.
I have seen an important change take place in Milo over the last few months. It is that he really understands that we are always going to be there for him. That we are his forever family. He really trusts us. He has learned to love openly and is allowing himself to be loved completely. It feels so good. His sincere hugs, kisses and snuggles are the stuff of dreams. He brings us such JOY. Helping him grow up is an absolute honor and a privelege, and we want nothing more than for him to be happy. I just hope we can do him justice.
"Where is my agent???"
Hanging out with new friend Cora-Lynne (originally from France) at Charlestowne Landing.
On a recent roadtrip to NC we stopped to say hello to the Kieffer family, recently back from Kaz with their beautiful daughter, Elloree. She joins her Kaz brother, Rhys, who is a little older than Milo.
The Kieffers were such big supporters during our adoption process. We are so happy they finally have completed their family!
We also visited our friends, Sean and Julia who have also been wonderfully supportive. In fact, they are one of the most enthusiastic couples in our group of "non-parent" friends.
Enjoying the early spring mountain views on our trip. Yes, we have a monkey backpack "leash" on Milo. It's not our favorite thing, but essential when running around on mountaintops!
Petting a purring barn cat at the estate of Carl Sandburg.
Filing mommy's nails. Actually, it's more like stabbing.
Eager to hop in the car to go bye-bye
and looking like such a little BOY.
Again with my shoes!
Loving the slide and flashing that smile.
I kiss this face 5000 times a day.
Check out his double cowlick. I pulled a section of his hair back in this photo so you can see them both clearly. They swirl in opposite directions, sometimes causing his hair to "cone" on the top of his head.
This is his "I know I'm being naughty" look.
In a timeout, Al Bundy style.
He still sucks his thumbs to self soothe. Here is the callous that has formed on one of them.
VIDEOS:
Playing with his friend, Cora-Lyne at Charlestowne Landing
Hello good people of the world! Happy New Year to you all, and Happy New President!!!
We had an enjoyable Christmas holiday. We took our first family road trip and drove up to Indianapolis to visit my family. It's a 12+ hour drive, so we thought it wise to split it into 2 days. It's hard to fly with our dogs, and we wouldn't dream of leaving them behind. It was frigidly cold during the trip, so it was tough to be cooped up most of the time in my parent's house. But we loved spending quality time with "mamaw" and "papaw" as Milo so cutely pronounced grandma and grandpa. It seemed like he remembered them from their visit to Charleston for his homecoming. He was really comfortable with them and I just love watching them together. I desperately wish they lived closer.
Our big celebration was Christmas Eve at my sister's house, where Milo met all of his family. He quickly got the hang of opening gifts. He received many wonderful things and lots of love from everyone. He was the center of attention and his exuberant personality shone brightly as usual. He did get overstimulated, but behaved pretty well for being in a totally new environment, with all the excitement and new faces.
Quality Time with Grandma
Naughty or Nice?
Loving Grandpa's Giant Remote
At My Sister's House
Sweet Boy
Swinging with Uncle Mark and Daddy
Showing Cousin Carissa How it's Done
Sharp Dressed Man
My Sister's Beautiful Tree
Rockin' Gift from Grandparents
Hot Chocolate
Milo did splendidly during the car trip! I sat in the back with him to help keep him entertained, and we borrowed a portable DVD player from a friend. It was a hit and it helped more than we expected. The movies Cars (a great little movie) and Thomas the Tank Engine (a strange little series) are now his favorites! (He has begged for -- and watched -- both of them almost every day since.) It was when we returned home that he lost it. All the excitement and relief to be home must have caught up with him. He was unsettled for two days.
To ring in the New Year we just stayed home and watched the ball drop on television (Ryan Seacrest is a sorry substitute for Dick Clark!) At midnight we kissed, and then tiptoed into Milo's room and gave him a little kiss too. For me the dawning of a New Year, while fun, usually feels just like any average moment in time. It's the spring season that feels like the year's fresh start in my mind. But for some reason the birth of 2009 felt fresh and new to me this year. I'm not sure why, but surely it has something to do with all the drama of 2008. :-)
Sweet Milo is thriving and growing like a weed. He is now 29 months old, and has been home for 5 months. Since coming home he has gone up 2 shoe sizes (from a 5 to a 7.) Also, he is now wearing 24 mos. clothing instead of 12-18 months, although he's long and lean and needs adjustable waist pants. He still eats well, but his body type is just stretching out all the baby fat. He is very strong and has great muscle tone, especially in his legs. That's probably because he squats down a lot to play (It must be genetic because in Kazakhstan all the men are always squatting. This is even how they hang out to chat on a street corner together.) He still wears a size 3 diaper because his of his tiny hiney, but we are almost ready for a size 4. We have used mostly Pampers, but tried many other brands. We found that Luvs seem to be just as good for less money, and we also really like the 7th Generation chlorine-free brand. They're expensive though. Speaking of diapers, a more focused potty training regimen is about to begin -- really! I hope it won't be too much of a struggle. He sits on the potty fine now if we take him, but not for long. He will go if he has to, but won't let us know ahead of time.
He was recently evaluated by a speech therapist. She determined that his language skills already fall within the normal range for his age. It's the low end of normal, but that's still amazing! She will check back a few times over the next few months just to make sure he is still on target. Our Early Intervention therapist thinks he is progressing enough to no longer qualify for services soon, which was exciting to hear! We also started seeing an Occupational Therapist (via this same Early Intervention program.) She is helping us with Milo's sensory-seeking behaviors and with finding tricks and activities for calming him when he gets overstimulated.
All of these services have stemmed from the No Child Left Behind Act, and are available to any child in the USA who qualifies. They bill your insurance, and whatever is not covered is picked up by the state. The therapists come to our home too if you prefer it, so it is no cost and no hassle. In South Carolina you go through BabyNet, but I'm not sure about other states. Milo barely qualified as "delayed" but I didn't want to take any chances, so I went ahead with the services. He certainly seems to be caught up now in just about every area.
Our biggest news is that we decided to put Milo in daycare for 1 day a week on Mondays. Last week was our first time. Although he cried for a few moments he did well the rest of the day! He loves being around children and we think it will help his socialization skills, not to mention give me a needed break and allow me the time to complete my freelance work and other projects uninterrupted. The constant juggling and late nights working were just too stressful. I just needed 1 full day a week to focus. Can you tell I'm feeling guilty about it? I know I shouldn't, and that it is the right balance for us all.
We started participating in a very active local playgroup for "natural-minded moms," which has been really nice. They have a Yahoo Group I've followed for a long time and I finally jumped into their events. Milo also starts Kindermusik in 2 weeks. This program is highly recommended by many people, so I really look forward to it. Milo is still very sociable, although now he is sometimes shy at first. This is new, but it's actually a good thing. As many of you know "indiscriminate friendliness" is common among adopted children who have had many caretakers. Some degree of "hiding behind mom's skirt" is healthy, and he definitely does that now.
It is fascinating to see his personality continue to emerge. He is all boy, whether talking about his preferred toys or his behaviors. All except for the shoe obsession ... he still loves shoes. But I guess that's not really gender-specific at this age. The other day I walked into the living room to see him standing in front of the TV wearing in my favorite heels, watching Handy Manny. I had a good chuckle and grabbed the camera.
Milo seems to be very mechanically inclined. He wants to figure out how most toys work rather than play with them. He still loves music, dancing and books too, but we see a strong technical side emerging. He surprises us with how much he can figure out. He has recently become fiercely independent ("I do it!") even when he is unable to "do it." I let him try, and of course I help him when he finally asks.
Milo still loves to laugh and be a silly clown. His belly laugh lights up every cell in my body. He is still incredibly curious and fearless, with a "sieze the day" attitude. But he can be very strong-willed and persistent in trying to get his way. Oh yes, a stubborn little mule! He is learning to manipulate too. It's funny (but hard) to see him being "dishonest." For instance he asks for a hug when he really just wants to get to whatever is on the countertop I'm standing next to. Or he says he's hungry just for attention.
He has reached a whole new level with giving and receiving affection. He was always affectionate, but when he sits on my lap, he now reaches back and pulls my face down to his and presses my cheek against his cheek. I have always done this, and now he seems to crave it. It's divine. The last couple of months he has preferred mommy to daddy, which is not unusual but it was hard on Frank. This has become better balanced again, much to Frank's relief.
Milo is still a very active boy who needs constant sensory experiences. I did some research and my theory is that it’s from being understimulated as a baby, causing him to be hypo-sensitive and require lots of input now. Over time we have definitely seen that he is growing much calmer and more able to focus. He has had many laid-back days lately. On the days when he does become a whirlwind, I can tell the minute he wakes up that his mind is racing and that it's going to be a rough day. It doesn't seem to be sleep-related (still sleeps like a rock) but we can't pinpoint what sets him off in a tizzy some days.
Well, it was bound to happen. Frank and I had our first round of parenting-related spats. That was interesting. I went back and read our November 27, 2007 post where I made some predictions about this. I also re-read all the wise comments. It helped me remember that this is all part of the experience of parenthood. We worked things out of course, and are wiser from it. We had another date night to attend a friend's wedding recently. Milo cried when we left, but not for long. He did great with his sitters (Frank's brother and his 2 daughters) and Frank and I enjoyed our time immensely. We have a goal of getting out together once a month.
After hitting the ground running, we have hit a pretty comfortable stride as a family. Milo seems very content too. I often find myself just staring at my beautiful, brilliant son. I guess it's not in bad taste to gush about his gorgeousness, intelligence or charm since he is not my genetic offspring! I just can't help it. I am in awe. I am so humbled by the privilege of being his mother. He is a very special boy.
Until next time, enjoy these photos of his first ever ride on his tricycle. Notice the "Mater" shoes from the movie Cars? Another great gift from my parents.
I've added a "Followers" tool to the sidebar for anyone who wants to be notified of blog updates. Oh, and by the way Frank and I joined Facebook, so if you're on it look us up. Cheers from Charleston!
P.S. Did anyone out there send us the "Fridge Phonics" set from Target as a Christmas gift? It had the wrong packing list inside and we have no idea who it came from.
Frank and I have been sending out homemade holiday postcards for 5 years now. Frank is a graphic designer and we both have a warped sense of humor, so that makes for some pretty unconventional holiday greetings. This year was extra fun with Milo in the mix!
Here is our latest creation: (click to enlarge)
2008
And here is our Christmas postcard collection from years past:
2007 (after returning from Italy and seeing more naked statues than you can shake a stick at)
2006
2005
2004
I just hope our social worker doesn't decide to revise our home study after seeing these!
Everything is grand on the homefront, and we're ready for the holidays! We have discovered that Milo's favorite toys are cars, trucks, planes, trains, tractors, tools, telephones and ... shoes! (I swear, I still can't keep them in my closet.) We have conveyed this information to Santa Claus, and I have a sneaking suspicion he's going to deliver.
We cannot believe we've been home for 4 months and that Milo will be 28 months old on the 23rd. He is growing quickly (especially his platypus feet) and he has crossed over the threshold from being a big baby to a little boy. It's mind-blowing. He is so much more sure-footed and steady in his stride. He is still happy, healthy and eating and sleeping beautifully. His language development is phenominal. For me it is the most exciting thing to watch. He says hundreds of words and has no fear in sounding out anything we model for him. He even says "elevator" and "Piggly Wiggly." (A southern grocery store. Really. Google it.) He identifies and requests everything he can, all day long and he is so close to putting words together we can smell it. Lately, our first 10 minutes of every morning sound something like this: "Hi! Mommy. Diaper? Snuggle. Eat. Hungry. Bib. Spoon. Yogurt. Banana. Applesauce. Openit. Drink. Yum! All done. TV?" (He actually still doesn't watch much TV by his choice; Few shows hold his attention for long.)
He is still an energetic, giggly barrel of monkeys and usually smiling from ear-to-ear. Our bonding and attachment process continues to be very successful. Fortunately we have never had big issues, but even so, I can see a difference when comparing our first 2 months home to now. I can't even imagine what it will be like in another 4 months or even a year because every day that passes just melts our hearts together even more irrevocably. Sometimes I can physically feel a primal maternal response to him in the core of my body. It's incredible.
He no longer sleeps in a cradle beside our bed, but he's now in his crib in his bedroom full time. (It used to be just for naps.) Even still, one of us always rocks him to sleep at night (and for naps), before placing him in his crib. Sometimes we use our big rocker/recliner and sometimes we just lie with him in our bed. Once in a while he just won't drift off, even after an hour or so, so we put him down awake. He is usually fine with that. It takes some extra effort, but I think this has been one of the most important bonding rituals for us. We also have good snuggle time with him in our bed in the mornings.
Frank and I have had such fun taking him to the fair, the Christmas parades, the firestation, storytime, indoor jump castles, playgrounds and many other outings. We try to have lots of playdates with other kids because I can tell he really misses being around children. He is very sociable and thrives around other people. We are signing up for Kindermusik to help with that as well.
Frank and I are doing pretty well. We are still honing our parenting skills, finding our stride and learning to multi-task and communicate like never before. Mornings are tough on us, as we were never morning people. We have only been out on 1 date night since Milo came home, so that is something we need to prioritize. As much as we love our new life, we sometimes need a breather and a fresh perspective -- especially on the days when Milo decides to be extra willful, impish and whiny! Life is definitely different, we miss seeing our non-parent friends as often, and we are sometimes so tired that our skin hurts. But of course we wouldn't trade Milo for a whole lifetime of sleeping in late.
We are certainly looking forward to a very special holiday with our sweet elf. We wish much peace, warmth and love to everyone during this magical time of year. Take good care of yourselves and of those you love!
And by the way...
You've GOT to see this video! Milo does this all the time. On purpose. He keeps his eyes open and never stops grinning.
Off to the mall we went for the Great American Santa Claus Photo. It was a success! Don'tcha just love a good sweater vest?
Milo thought Santa was swell, but he was apprehensive at first about sitting on his lap. Once mom showed him how to do it he was game. It took only minor prompting to get that dazzling smile.
Video: Mr. Chatty
Milo is getting very verbal, and as you can see he loves calling out to our Chihuahuas, Paco ("Caco") and Delilah ("Lalila".) He also loves gadgets, especially cameras, as you can hear by his whining for mine in this video. We gave him one of our cheap ones as a toy; it is his favorite thing at the moment. I just love the way he says "yes" at the end of this!
This is what daddy and Milo were working on in the video.
Here are a few more random photos from the last few weeks:
Having tea with the queen? Nope, just looking spiffy on Thanksgiving!
Now that's what I call a guitar hero.
The Dynamic Duo of Love
Milo loves to "cook." He gets the pots and pans himself and asks for peanuts or raisins to stir up in the pot! He also likes to care for his teddy bear. He puts diapers on him, puts him on the potty, feeds, hugs and kisses him and lays him down in the bed to go night-night. It's the sweetest thing.
Cheeks, lashes and lips galore
A rare, pensive moment watching the birds
With Aunt Rosie on Thanksgiving
Riding his Radio Flyer Retro Rocket with cousin Gabrielle
Watching the movie "Where the Garbage Goes" with his buddy, Nigel. They are fascinated with it. Check it out at http://www.littlehardhats.com/ He is mimicking the motions of taking a picture.
With our early intervention therapist, Shea, whom we love!
This 'bad' photo would have been deleted, but something about it reminds me of Chuck Barris from The Gong Show. Remember how Chuck would always pull his hat over his eyes? Come to think of it, Milo acts a lot like Chuck!
(That's his cousin, Kirsten, in the background.)
Thanks for stopping by. We wish everyone a joyful and magical holiday season!
We cannot count the number of times we have said thank you this year. It has been a year that we have felt embraced and supported like never before, during perhaps the most difficult season of our lives. We owe boatloads of gratitude to many people, and I'm still working on the thank you notes! ;-)
Most of all, we are deeply thankful for having the most incredible little boy in our family. Milan Damir Ruopoli, thank you for being you. You, glorious you.
Big love and warmest wishes to everyone this holiday season!
Milo gives Delilah a peace offering
VIDEO: Tennis Anyone?
AND happy 9th anniversary, my sweet Frank. You are still the sunshine of my life. Oh yes, and happy Franksgiving!
We celebrated this special holiday yesterday by attending an Adoption Day Ceremony at Azalea Park in Summerville.
I was honored to help write and officiate at the candle lighting ceremony for the event. (I am a certified civil Celebrant.)
Many families braved the drizzle and huddled beneath the gazebo and under umbrellas. We enjoyed music, shared stories and lit candles. I was excited to be one of the parents who shared our adoption story. Of course Milo, the perpetual ham, wanted to take over the microphone! After the event we joined several families at a restaurant for dinner and playtime.
It was interesting to re-read my blog post from this same day last year, and remember the very different tone of this holiday for us then. Proof positive that a whole helluva lot can happen in one year! (Oh yes, his eyes were sparkling.)
Milo has been extra huggy and kissy this week. Earlier tonight he gave me the longest goodnight hug ever. I could tell he really meant it. I am still in a puddle.
Howdy partners! Our little buckaroo was a swaggering cowboy this Halloween. We thought the look fit him well, plus it was also a hats off to my dad, Rudy, who is an avid fan and collector of memorabilia from the classic Riders of the Silver Screen, such as Roy Rogers and Gene Autry.
We visited some family members and then went to a friend's block party, which has become a tradition. He blocks off his entire cul-de-sac and sets up a stage and has awesome special effects and decorations, etc. He owns a prominent local stage lighting and sound company, so this is his thing and he does it well. Milo had a blast.
Here are some photos from our holiday, as well as a few from earlier this fall.
Also, I've written a general update at the bottom of this post.
Enjoy!
Get along little doggie!
He was not a fan of the process of drawing the mustache, eyebrows and sideburns on his face, but he liked the results in the mirror.
His carseat never looked more appropriate.
This town ain't big enough for the two of us!
I decided to make my costume easy this year: Sarah Palin. It was a no-brainer since I hear comments daily from strangers about how much I resemble her. The timing couldn't have been better, although I can't say that I'm voting for her ticket. I'm a proud Obama Mama!
Daddy's costume was pulled together by frantically diving through our costume bins 20 minutes before we left for the party and seeing what came out! To tie it into my costume, he called it A Typical American after a McCain/Palin Administration!
Honking noses is Milo's favorite new thing. He especially delighted in doing it to daddy's weird mask. Milo wasn't one bit afraid of all the scary costumes. He just giggled. A true Ruopoli!
The boys cozied up to the bonfire, which gave Milo plenty of opportunity to practice one of his favorite words, "Hot!"
Trick or treat! Actually, it sounded more like, "Trih-cheet!"
Not your traditional, Olan Mills, family photo!
MORE FALL FUN
We loved the Boone Hall Plantation Pumpkin Patch! Understandably, he thought that the pumpkins were big orange balls.
Cutie patootie!
Ready to stop snuggling and start exploring
A late afternoon hayride
Sweet child of mine
With his buddy, Nigel, who gave him the cool "Boo" shirt.
Oh, how I miss the days of carefully crafting each blog post, agonizing over each sentence and trying to capture the true essense of our emotions.
I could have written a book since bringing Milo home 11 weeks ago! But the very experience I want to write about so deeply is what takes too much out of me to sit at the computer in my free time and type. I look forward to a day in the not-too-distant future when I can get back to some serious blogging. I feel like I'm not doing Milo justice!
Until then, here is another quick update:
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… fall! The fall weather in Charleston has been mostly divine, and we have enjoyed many outings to the park, the aquarium, friend’s houses, museums, musical performances and pumpkin patches.
Life is so sweet, and definitely different. The sounds of soothing melodies, swinging rhythms, and harmonic complexities were once the means to a relaxing evening, but now it’s the sound of a wooden mallet pounding on a Fisher Price Xylophone at 200 beats per minute that makes an evening complete.
And we wouldn’t change it for a lifetime supply of Cheetos! Milo continues to be the center of our newly shifted universe, and we love pouring ourselves into him. He is so full of enthusiasm and vitality. He relishes every waking moment and is always ready for a laugh or a fun adventure.
Milo loves music, dancing, books, animals, cars, playing outdoors and simply being chased around. Being chased is probably his all time favorite. He plays with his toys in creative ways and seems very intrigued by how things work. For instance he would rather take a pen apart than draw with it, and he would rather open and close DVD cases than watch the movies. Baths are still the pinnacle of our evenings. Lately he likes to lie all the way down in the tub, with the water covering his ears. He holds very still and enjoys the strange, watery silence for awhile before splashing around to hear what that sounds like underwater.
We have seen huge progress in Milo’s development in every area. He continues to amaze us. His speech has really taken off, as he uses about 60+ words, with new ones added every day. He is practically becoming a chatterbox, constantly identifying objects, repeating after us and repeating words over and over to get them just right. My favorite word to hear him say is “home.” He says it every time we pull into the driveway, and it sounds like he has a cockney accent. My heart always melts to hear it. Yes, baby, we are home.
He was evaluated by an early intervention specialist from Baby Steps, who was highly impressed with his communication skills. She said that in her professional opinion he was doing remarkably well considering how long he has been home. She recently informed me that Milo did qualify (barely) to receive some special instruction to help him with his sensory-seeking behaviors and further improve his communication and socialization. We look forward to having an expert come into our home and share her insight and advice on this.
Our sweet son continues to sleep and eat like a dream. Gawd, I hope it lasts! He even likes broccoli, spinach, Brussels sprouts, raw tomatoes, guacamole and sauerkraut! He sleeps about 10-11 hours a night, usually doesn't wake. He uses the potty several times a day, although he is still in diapers full time. Full blown potty training shouldn’t be too difficult in a few more months, especially since they had him doing it at the orphanage.
The good days with Milo are awesome, but there have certainly been days when he was extra willful and defiant, with more than his share of tantrums. Those days have required as much patience and persistence as we could humanly muster. We can now entirely understand those people who admired us for daring to jump into the deep end of parenting a 2-year old right off the bat. What an interesting Jekyll and Hyde-ish stage this can be!
We are still working hard on helping Milo play more independently, as he is still very demanding of our time and attention. He refuses to play alone for more than 30 seconds. Overall he is much calmer, but occasionally he morphs into “Extreme Milo" when he becomes exceedingly impulsive, unfocused and hyperactive. This usually happens when he is in a new environment. We have learned to bring the stroller with us everywhere, which helps keep him restrained when he is overstimulated and turning into a whirling dervish. We have also learned to keep certain outings very short for now. Our code phrase for when it's time to leave is “The switch has flipped!” This is exactly what seems to happen when he gets into this zone.
Last month we saw some minor push-pull behaviors of the attachment process, but those have mostly subsided and given way to greater intimacy. It seems like we crossed another threshold and have grown even closer. He even willingly snuggles with us for long periods of time and seeks our physical and emotional comfort more and more. When he is in my arms I can't help but just breathe him in. His natural baby scent is the most wonderful smell in the world. I wish it would never go away.
Milo doesn't have a shy bone in his body. We feel so lucky that he is a sociable, happy, affectionate, well-adjusted kid. His engaging personality, million dollar smile and super kissable cheeks have brought him a lot of attention, which he eats up. He is a special little guy and having him in our lives is such a privilege.
It’s so exciting to imagine what his future holds. Sometimes I want him to grow up quickly so I can know him better and see who he becomes. On the other hand, I want him to stay this age forever. I know I’ll miss it when it’s over. Maybe even the tantrums!
Now that we're home, we have lots of items that other adoptive parents could use. So we are having a Ruopoli Adoption Going Out of Business Sale!
We are auctioning a package on eBay that includes important things every family will need to either prepare for their trip or to use during their trip.
I had wished someone was selling a package like this last year because it would have saved us a lot of time and money. This is a great bargain AND a huge convenience.
We hope this will make someone’s life a little easier, and also bring in some extra moolah for Milo's college fund.
Full details and a photo are on the listing -- just click on the above link. The auction ends this Wednsday evening.
Thanks, and we will be back to our regularly scheduled program, Adventures with Milo, very soon!
You will no longer need a login or password to view this blog. I made it public now that my former fellow traveler, Alysa, finally has custody of her son, Braden (Brady) Kyler. Congratulations my friend! I look forward to a cross-country playdate soon!